Letting go of the Bow Lines...

When I left to go overseas 3 months ago I said to myself I'd write a blog to document my travels but it never happened weather it was to laziness or technology issues. But either way I regret not sticking by my goal. I tend to do that a lot not stick to my goals for some reason they change so fast based on other peoples ideals, that I think I have actually lost my own set of goals in the process.

Before I left I had a few people telling me moving overseas is putting my life on hold. I told these people that it's was my life and no one can put my life on hold other than me.

So I ask myself, how did I get to where I am today?

As Maria from Sound of Music once said...you have to start at the very begging it's a very good place to start...

This year I decided to change my way of thinking. In July I hoped on board a 774 with my friend to Europe. We saw England, Italy, Greece, The Greek Islands and Spain. It started out as a holiday, which turned into me (my friend went home) extending it by 2 months, so could see more of the world.

I went to Berlin alone, but found out I'm too much of a people person to travel alone. I need people to talk to on a regular basis, yes I made lots of amazing friends, from Canada, Australia, England and Spain just to name a few but nether the less it's hard travelling with someone for a month and a half to go straight into travelling alone.

So the big plans I had to see the rest of Europe were put slightly on hold, while I decided what I should do. I came back to London with fresh optimism and set out to figure life out. If I knew life would have been so hard to figure out I might have just gone home. But I didn't, instead I through off the bowlines and decided to sail into the unknown (theoretically speaking that is) .

In October I was due to fly back home, but instead I did something I never thought I'd have the courage to do. I let my flight back to Melbourne leave, with me not on it. It was a big deal, I've never been the biggest risk taker. It was a strange feeling of freedom and self worth. But for some strange reason this time felt like more of a challenge, maybe it's because I'm older and wiser. Not to old but old enough to realise it's hard moving out of home, let alone half way around the world.  Here's the thing I've lived overseas before, in London to be exact when I was 19. I think the main difference from last time is I always had the safety net of my flight home. But this time my safety net has disappeared.

If you have friend or family who have moved overseas, it is a wonderful, exciting and exhilarating time but it's also hard and lonely. You get to see the most amazing sites, meet incredible people and these are the things that most people will tell you about when they come home. But what the don't tell you is while your living here it's hard it's really, really hard. But I just want to let you know it's OK, it will get better. Well here's hoping...




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“too thin” VS. “too fat”?

It has come to my attention after recent happenings within my life that people don't believe that calling someone too skinny hurts just as much as calling someone too fat. We always hear about people getting called too fat, more often than too skinny. But believe me it hurts all the same.

Not every super skinny girl has an eating disorder.

I've always been slim since I was a child; I have been tall and lanky. I had to put up with years of being called anorexic, -gee children are so creative- and it hurt to know I wasn't and to be kept being called these names. People still say I’m to skinny, but I eat junk food and whatever I want and still stay really skinny. (Thanks Dad)

The other day while I was out and about I ran into a friend I’d gone to High School with, the first thing she said to me after the initial "Hi" was "My god you are still so skinny!!’...Thanks I hadn't noticed, but it brings me to this point what if I’d turned around to her and said ‘Oh my god you're still so FAT!!’ I wouldn’t because I know that’s unacceptable.

Just so you all out there know every girl worries about their bodies, their imperfections and the way they look. Even supermodels worry; they are constantly under pressure to stay slim. It should be a common fact in today’s society that skinny comments can hurt just as much as fat comments.It doesn’t matter what shape or size, we all see imperfections when we look in the mirror. So next time you think about making said comments, just remember… Every girl has issues about their looks!!!

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Lifes many mysteries....

So here goes, my dad set me a task the other day to write him a letter with some ideas to put to him about what I want to do with my life. Well, that might seem like an easy task but it has taken me a little time to ponder my thoughts and come up with a way to write said letter!

You see I’m in a little bit of a pickle, I’m 22 –nearly 23, sad panda- and still don’t know what I really want to.

I wish I was one of those kids who grow up knowing what they want to be -well I did but being a super model isn’t as easy as I thought- so I’ve had to put that dream to the back of the stock pile, while I work out what I can actually do with my life on a more realistic level.

So I’m sitting here thinking what I would really like to do with my life and I’m already stumped, sure I have a few ideas of what I want to do, I want to have a job that’s fun and rewarding. Where I’m still free to have the hobbies and free time, lunch dates with friends are important. I want to be in an environment where I can grow and move. Sometimes it seems like I can’t get past the superficial wall to figure out what I really want to do.

I blame American TV, life isn’t a dream like those shows, this is reality. So here I go I’m going to list the things I enjoy or skill I think I have to see if anything jumps out in front of my eyes!

I enjoy being creative, I like working with children and fashion is fun…cooking relaxes me but as a job maybe too stressful. I hate standing up for long periods but I also hate sitting down for long periods, I get to fidgety. I hate maths and numbers, but love history and art. I do enjoy planning things, and having everything come together at the finally result. I love travelling, and being somewhere new.

So all the skills I have seem to lead no where, I want to travel and spend my life making an adventure. I want to pursue something I want to make a difference. I want to help people I want to be someone that I’m proud of!

Relationships...we all have them!

I don't know about you guys, but I seem to have a real hard time finding someone to date so I thought I’d do a little investigating, to find out the top 5 dating mistakes people make world over.

I've had boyfriends, friend that are boys and crushes but none thus far have made it past the 6 month stage or as I like to call the Honeymoon period or Chocolate-Relationship coma – FACT: In the first 3-6 months of a relationship, you are likely running on oxytocin, which is a chemical found in chocolate!- now with a little help from the world wide web i’m going to find the mistakes we make and hopefully I’ll help my self. Stop doing the wrong thing and also help you at the same time! Win-win situation!

 Lets start with the most famous of them all…the one I do constantly and is probably to blame for all my failed relationships!

 1. Game playing

• We all play games when starting out a new relationship and this strategy is employed to protect ourselves and one’s ego form being crushed. If we are able to protect ourselves on some level from the fear of rejection, so we play it cool and try not to get involved. This may make you feel safe, but you risk coming across as aloof or remote, and may turn the other person off.

Look we all do it, I know I do an i'm very bad at it, I find one little flaw and then its game over!

 2. Obsessing over details

• This one is common with those who worry. The worry may be a general habit, but now it is turned on the subject of the relationship: worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted, worry about the relationship not working out, worry about what if it does work out, how will your parents react…on and on. Being anxious is a mood killer, and will not make you attractive to a potential mate. But don't go worrying about that! Try to tap into your self-confidence and trust that if the relationship is meant to work out, it will.

I’m the worst at this, I over analyse every single thing a boy does, he didn’t put an xx at the end of his message his made at me, I wouldn’t go over after a night out his now not speaking to me! But enough is enough…someone wise once told me “People look into things too much. If you like talking to him then just go for it.”

3. Looking for Perfection

• I’m not encouraging you to settle, but separating your desires from your deal-breakers can give your love life a major upgrade. “There are some qualities that your mate must have—being honest, for example—and others, such as movie-star looks, that should be thrown in the would-be-nice category,” says Elizabeth R. Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “

Nobody want to date a shmuck, but maybe we have to pick at a few weeds before we find the rose! I'll be the first to say I go for looks over personality, I believe you must be attracted to the person. It's easy to say looks aren't important but you need to be attracted to the person in order to find out their personality!


4. Too Much, Too Soon

• If you’re looking for an exclusive relationship with him, take a good hard look at whether he’s really ready for that. Exclusivity feels scary to many men, especially if they feel like you’re trying to push them toward a level of commitment that they don’t want.

Heres a little case study for you based on my life –sorry if you read this and see I’ve used you in my blog- I was seeing this guy Andrew* for a few months things were going well, I’d also been the one to take the plunge and ask him out not something I’d done before. So it was about 2 months down the track and we’d been out a handful of times when one night he got all serious and was like what’s going on, where do you see us going! I got a little freaked – normally it’s something a girl would say- and was like what aren’t we taking things slowly it we’ve only just started dating! So that made things a little awkward but we seemed to get past them, but as things progressed I stared feeling more happy with the relationship and where it was going so after about 4 months I asked about our exclusivity and got shut down in the worst way possible! I don’t think there’s ever a right time to have “the talk”.
*Names have been changed to protect identities!

5. Living In The Past

• We all carry around some emotional pain and past hurts, but be careful about how quickly you share such personal information. You may be longing for someone to talk with, but when you go down this path too soon it leaves you vulnerable and puts him in an awkward position if he’s not ready for that level of sharing.

Don’t live in the past, don’t bring up your ex’s they are bound to surface eventually. But even if they were you’re prince charming and you don’t think you should settle for less. Get to know this guy before you compare him!

Look I’m not an expert on this relationship stuff –so don’t quote me or take my advice to heart- in any sense of the word but I have been there, I’ve been dumped, been the dumper and had my heart broken, but I’ve gotten through it each time so you can too! If you need a something to help you get through a painful break-up or are just starting out a new relationship check out this song below but Jessie James it makes me happy and determined!



 
http://www.datingsitesadvisor.com/datingmistakes.cfm 
http://www.cognitive-therapy-associates.com/top-ten-dating-mistakes.php
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/8-dating-mistakes-even-smart-women-make-1286935/