Monday, October 28, 2013

Should I stay or Should I go...

While I sit here at my computer killing time at this mundane job, I feel torn about what to do with my life. It seems the time for changes is upon us, should I stay or should I go...

I never thought moving overseas for the second time was going to be easy, but I didn't think it would be quite this hard.

Transporting you back four years to a time where my London life was something out of a dream, lavish parities, flowing champagne, load of celebrities.

This time I'm just living a normal life. Is this really where I want to be living my normal life or would it just be easier to admit defeat and head home with my tail between my legs to start setting roots up where it matters. 

So here I tell the story of simple ex-pat life...

There is two sides to any ex-pat journey and mine is no different. There is the golden side and there is the dark side. 

This dark side I'm talking about is when you see everything that's been happening at home, all your friends seems to be getting married, buying houses and moving forwards with their careers. And what am I doing with my life?

Yes, I have some amazing memories but what does the future hold for someone who is constantly moving around. 

Here is a little insight to my life at the moment. I work Monday through Friday from 8-6. My commute takes 45 to an hour, including a bus and the underground (Let me tell you the joy of catching a red double decker bus wears off after you have to do it daily. Sure the tube is great and exciting when your a tourist but morning or evening rush hour takes the glimmer away
). I pay my extravagant rent for my tiny room and my monthly bills, this leaves me with just enough money to buy a weekly travel card and food for the week. Not exactly living the high life. Thank-god partying is still free, but I rarely get to enjoy it because I've got to be up at 6 am to start my day again. On the weekend I'm free to travel and catchup with my friends but because we are all in the same boat, it make it tricky. 

Don't get me wrong I love living in another country. There is so much to see and do. I love soaking up all the country has to offer. I have seen amazing sight, met amazing people and done some crazy things. I wouldn't change anything in my life because it's made me the person I am today. These are the stories I'm going to be telling my grand-kids one day...or my cats depending if I get lucky enough to meet a nice man. This is that golden side I was telling you about.. 

I think it's all about doing what makes you happy. If living abroad isn't it any more then maybe it's time to go home...

Writing this down is the most discussion I've had on the matter. Maybe I'm over-thinking this one. But knowing my doubts are there, maybe it's time to accept what fate has in store for me, including moving on. I'm just waiting for the signs…

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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Letting go of the Bow Lines...

When I left to go overseas 3 months ago I said to myself I'd write a blog to document my travels but it never happened weather it was to laziness or technology issues. But either way I regret not sticking by my goal. I tend to do that a lot not stick to my goals for some reason they change so fast based on other peoples ideals, that I think I have actually lost my own set of goals in the process.

Before I left I had a few people telling me moving overseas is putting my life on hold. I told these people that it's was my life and no one can put my life on hold other than me.

So I ask myself, how did I get to where I am today?

As Maria from Sound of Music once have to start at the very begging it's a very good place to start...

This year I decided to change my way of thinking. In July I hoped on board a 774 with my friend to Europe. We saw England, Italy, Greece, The Greek Islands and Spain. It started out as a holiday, which turned into me (my friend went home) extending it by 2 months, so could see more of the world.

I went to Berlin alone, but found out I'm too much of a people person to travel alone. I need people to talk to on a regular basis, yes I made lots of amazing friends, from Canada, Australia, England and Spain just to name a few but nether the less it's hard travelling with someone for a month and a half to go straight into travelling alone.

So the big plans I had to see the rest of Europe were put slightly on hold, while I decided what I should do. I came back to London with fresh optimism and set out to figure life out. If I knew life would have been so hard to figure out I might have just gone home. But I didn't, instead I through off the bowlines and decided to sail into the unknown (theoretically speaking that is) .

In October I was due to fly back home, but instead I did something I never thought I'd have the courage to do. I let my flight back to Melbourne leave, with me not on it. It was a big deal, I've never been the biggest risk taker. It was a strange feeling of freedom and self worth. But for some strange reason this time felt like more of a challenge, maybe it's because I'm older and wiser. Not to old but old enough to realise it's hard moving out of home, let alone half way around the world.  Here's the thing I've lived overseas before, in London to be exact when I was 19. I think the main difference from last time is I always had the safety net of my flight home. But this time my safety net has disappeared.

If you have friend or family who have moved overseas, it is a wonderful, exciting and exhilarating time but it's also hard and lonely. You get to see the most amazing sites, meet incredible people and these are the things that most people will tell you about when they come home. But what the don't tell you is while your living here it's hard it's really, really hard. But I just want to let you know it's OK, it will get better. Well here's hoping...

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