Should I stay or Should I go...

While I sit here at my computer killing time at this mundane job, I feel torn about what to do with my life. It seems the time for changes is upon us, should I stay or should I go...

I never thought moving overseas for the second time was going to be easy, but I didn't think it would be quite this hard.
Transporting you back four years to a time where my London life was something out of a dream, lavish parities, flowing champagne, load of celebrities.

This time I'm just living a normal life. Is this really where I want to be living my normal life or would it just be easier to admit defeat and head home with my tail between my legs to start setting roots up where it matters. 

So here I tell the story of simple ex-pat life...

There is two sides to any ex-pat journey and mine is no different. There is the golden side and there is the dark side. 

This dark side I'm talking about is when you see everything that's been happening at home, all your friends seems to be getting married, buying houses and moving forwards with their careers. And what am I doing with my life?

Yes, I have some amazing memories but what does the future hold for someone who is constantly moving around. 

Here is a little insight to my life at the moment. I work Monday through Friday from 8-6. My commute takes 45 to an hour, including a bus and the underground (Let me tell you the joy of catching a red double decker bus wears off after you have to do it daily. Sure the tube is great and exciting when your a tourist but morning or evening rush hour takes the glimmer away). I pay my extravagant rent for my tiny room and my monthly bills, this leaves me with just enough money to buy a weekly travel card and food for the week. Not exactly living the high life. Thank-god partying is still free, but I rarely get to enjoy it because I've got to be up at 6 am to start my day again. On the weekend I'm free to travel and catchup with my friends but because we are all in the same boat, it make it tricky. 

Don't get me wrong I love living in another country. There is so much to see and do. I love soaking up all the country has to offer. I have seen amazing sight, met amazing people and done some crazy things. I wouldn't change anything in my life because it's made me the person I am today. These are the stories I'm going to be telling my grand-kids one day...or my cats depending if I get lucky enough to meet a nice man. This is that golden side I was telling you about.. 

I think it's all about doing what makes you happy. If living abroad isn't it any more then maybe it's time to go home...

Writing this down is the most discussion I've had on the matter. Maybe I'm over-thinking this one. But knowing my doubts are there, maybe it's time to accept what fate has in store for me, including moving on. I'm just waiting for the signs…

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Letting go of the Bow Lines...

When I left to go overseas 3 months ago I said to myself I'd write a blog to document my travels but it never happened weather it was to laziness or technology issues. But either way I regret not sticking by my goal. I tend to do that a lot not stick to my goals for some reason they change so fast based on other peoples ideals, that I think I have actually lost my own set of goals in the process.

Before I left I had a few people telling me moving overseas is putting my life on hold. I told these people that it's was my life and no one can put my life on hold other than me.

So I ask myself, how did I get to where I am today?

As Maria from Sound of Music once said...you have to start at the very begging it's a very good place to start...

This year I decided to change my way of thinking. In July I hoped on board a 774 with my friend to Europe. We saw England, Italy, Greece, The Greek Islands and Spain. It started out as a holiday, which turned into me (my friend went home) extending it by 2 months, so could see more of the world.

I went to Berlin alone, but found out I'm too much of a people person to travel alone. I need people to talk to on a regular basis, yes I made lots of amazing friends, from Canada, Australia, England and Spain just to name a few but nether the less it's hard travelling with someone for a month and a half to go straight into travelling alone.

So the big plans I had to see the rest of Europe were put slightly on hold, while I decided what I should do. I came back to London with fresh optimism and set out to figure life out. If I knew life would have been so hard to figure out I might have just gone home. But I didn't, instead I through off the bowlines and decided to sail into the unknown (theoretically speaking that is) .

In October I was due to fly back home, but instead I did something I never thought I'd have the courage to do. I let my flight back to Melbourne leave, with me not on it. It was a big deal, I've never been the biggest risk taker. It was a strange feeling of freedom and self worth. But for some strange reason this time felt like more of a challenge, maybe it's because I'm older and wiser. Not to old but old enough to realise it's hard moving out of home, let alone half way around the world.  Here's the thing I've lived overseas before, in London to be exact when I was 19. I think the main difference from last time is I always had the safety net of my flight home. But this time my safety net has disappeared.

If you have friend or family who have moved overseas, it is a wonderful, exciting and exhilarating time but it's also hard and lonely. You get to see the most amazing sites, meet incredible people and these are the things that most people will tell you about when they come home. But what the don't tell you is while your living here it's hard it's really, really hard. But I just want to let you know it's OK, it will get better. Well here's hoping...




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“too thin” VS. “too fat”?

It has come to my attention after recent happenings within my life that people don't believe that calling someone too skinny hurts just as much as calling someone too fat. We always hear about people getting called too fat, more often than too skinny. But believe me it hurts all the same.

Not every super skinny girl has an eating disorder.

I've always been slim since I was a child; I have been tall and lanky. I had to put up with years of being called anorexic, -gee children are so creative- and it hurt to know I wasn't and to be kept being called these names. People still say I’m to skinny, but I eat junk food and whatever I want and still stay really skinny. (Thanks Dad)

The other day while I was out and about I ran into a friend I’d gone to High School with, the first thing she said to me after the initial "Hi" was "My god you are still so skinny!!’...Thanks I hadn't noticed, but it brings me to this point what if I’d turned around to her and said ‘Oh my god you're still so FAT!!’ I wouldn’t because I know that’s unacceptable.

Just so you all out there know every girl worries about their bodies, their imperfections and the way they look. Even supermodels worry; they are constantly under pressure to stay slim. It should be a common fact in today’s society that skinny comments can hurt just as much as fat comments.It doesn’t matter what shape or size, we all see imperfections when we look in the mirror. So next time you think about making said comments, just remember… Every girl has issues about their looks!!!

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Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice!

There is nothing better than starting the day to glass of freshly squeezed Vitamin C rich Orange Juice.

To add to my already good day, a laugh in the morning is the next best thing, if your to busy to make that glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

Maybe you’re on the commute to work, although it is 10:00am - not to rub it in- so lucky you if you are on the commute to work you start late!!

But enough chit-chat, the main reason I’m here this morning is to make you laugh...lately I’ve been seeing heaps and heaps of these your e-cards on facebook and social networking sites.

Some are funny, some cute, some rude and some down right mean.

But here are a few of the best I’ve seen in the last week or two.









Please if you know of more let me see them!!

xoxo

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I'm making my comeback...Now

So it has come to my attention that I have been somewhat - and by somewhat I mean - very slack in the blogging game for a while. But don't fear I’m making my much anticipated comeback into the arena...haven't heard of me well you will from this point on!!
 If you're new or old this blogs not really about anything in particular it's just a bunch on my rambles and weird and wondrous facts that make my life just a little bit more interesting!!

 I actually have a pretty funny story for you...it all happened a few weeks ago...


So the other Weekend after a big night out my friend and I were talking about travelling and how we hate long bus journeys.
She told me about a horrendous one that took 8 hours which I told her was nothing compared to my 12 hour on from Switzerland to France on my Contiki.
Knowing full well she herself had been on Contiki, I asked her if she had done the same trip and had just forgotten about it.

She said no she had not gone to France on her Contiki tour, out of curiosity I asked where indeed she had been on her tour.

 This is what followed...


Me: Where did you go on your Contiki?

Friend: Well I went all around Europe you know, Germany, Austria, Amsterdam, Switzerland and Paris ect.

Me: Sorry did you say Paris?

Friend: Yeah, I loved Paris.

Me: So you did go to France!

Friend: Nah, I didn't go to France on my Contiki, but I went later though.

At this point let’s just say I was a little shocked.

But I pressed on.

Me: But if you went to Paris you went to France. France is the Country, Paris is the city you can't have one with out the other!

Friend: No, I didn't go to France!!!

Me: Ok, well you did but let’s leave it at that!

 (Also just to note, if you do a Contiki that leaves from London you have to catch a ferry from the White Cliffs of Dover to Calais, France. So the first place you go on almost every Contiki is France!)


I was shocked...are you shocked!

 I just had to share this with you!!

xoxo

Lifes many mysteries....

So here goes, my dad set me a task the other day to write him a letter with some ideas to put to him about what I want to do with my life. Well, that might seem like an easy task but it has taken me a little time to ponder my thoughts and come up with a way to write said letter!

You see I’m in a little bit of a pickle, I’m 22 –nearly 23, sad panda- and still don’t know what I really want to.

I wish I was one of those kids who grow up knowing what they want to be -well I did but being a super model isn’t as easy as I thought- so I’ve had to put that dream to the back of the stock pile, while I work out what I can actually do with my life on a more realistic level.

So I’m sitting here thinking what I would really like to do with my life and I’m already stumped, sure I have a few ideas of what I want to do, I want to have a job that’s fun and rewarding. Where I’m still free to have the hobbies and free time, lunch dates with friends are important. I want to be in an environment where I can grow and move. Sometimes it seems like I can’t get past the superficial wall to figure out what I really want to do.

I blame American TV, life isn’t a dream like those shows, this is reality. So here I go I’m going to list the things I enjoy or skill I think I have to see if anything jumps out in front of my eyes!

I enjoy being creative, I like working with children and fashion is fun…cooking relaxes me but as a job maybe too stressful. I hate standing up for long periods but I also hate sitting down for long periods, I get to fidgety. I hate maths and numbers, but love history and art. I do enjoy planning things, and having everything come together at the finally result. I love travelling, and being somewhere new.

So all the skills I have seem to lead no where, I want to travel and spend my life making an adventure. I want to pursue something I want to make a difference. I want to help people I want to be someone that I’m proud of!

Check it out!!!

Hey guys,
Please check out me new blog A Secret Knowing, all your fashion updates! http://asecretknowning.blogspot.com/
Thanks!
xxx